The act of creation is at its base sexual in nature.
This seems like a fairly strong, even outlandish assertion, doesn’t it?
After all, we know the thought of writing up the quarterly gooberfloofen sales figures for that oh-so-important (but which ultimately doesn’t mean a damned thing) 9am meeting doesn’t make the vast majority of human beings hard or wet. I’m sure someone, somewhere throws a little mahogany or gets moist betwixt the thighs when tasks like this come their way. Still, most of us (and certainly no one I know!) wouldn’t think of a business report as even being the same sport as sex, never mind the same league or ballpark.
Likewise, some people don’t like to be touched AT ALL. Some people don’t care about sex AT ALL. Some people only feel sexual arousal with an emotional connection. Some people are more attracted to what a given person has between their ears than between their legs.
When we can’t even say with any degree of accuracy or legitimacy that all people have ten fingers and toes, the idea of creation equating to sex and kink seems downright silly. Nevertheless, and conceding the “Not all X are Y” exceptions I’ve noted above, I feel we can fairly say this argument is arguably true and applicable often enough to be held up as a general characteristic of the species. And I’m completely prepared to defend this assertion.
With this in mind, here are seven reasons I feel creativity and kink actually have more to do with one another than a casual glance might suggest.
Creativity: At its base, creativity stems from passion of some kind. After all, if artists didn’t give a damn about creating, they wouldn’t bother. People don’t do anything which doesn’t benefit them in some way. You wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t think it would benefit or interest you. I wouldn’t have bothered to write it if I didn’t think the message was important enough to warrant the blog space.
Kink: Like creativity, kink stems from passion. If this act, that outfit or doing this thing under these circumstances wasn’t arousing to one or all the parties involved, there would be no point. Indulging one’s nonstandard sexual, mental or emotional desires requires both creativity and passion, because regular vanilla dating can be a damned nightmare. Trying to find someone who shares your passion for sailors’ hats, bathtubs full of Pepto-Bismol and slide whistles* often feels like hunting Atlantis. Without passion, who would bother?
Creativity: When an artist creates, they are trying to show the viewer/reader/listener something very intimate and personal to them. Their “ideal” reader is someone who will see what they have created and achieve a mental and emotional connection to what they offer. When artist and reader meet on an equal plane, the work artist and viewer create together forges the desired connection.
Kink: Or let’s rather say sex here, acknowledging that not all kink is sexual and not all sex is kinky, is that fair? Not having someone to share your kinks and desires with is a sad and lonely way to live. When people come together who have complementary interests (i.e. Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Sadist/masochist, etc.) and a reciprocated desire, a connection is forged just as the artist and the ideal reader come together over the creative work.
Creativity: I know this is going to come as a shock to anyone who thinks meat grows in the grocery store and books just magically appear in the bookstore, etc., but channeling the act of creativity into developing a complete, “ready-for-prime-time” work for the reader is WORK. It takes planning, dedication, determination and careful, directed effort, always keeping the ideal reader uppermost in mind. Likewise, the reader must put in mental and emotional work to fully appreciate the finished product for what it is, not expending an undue amount of time parsing the creator’s intentions but taking with a certain amount of faith that the artist has the reader’s needs and desires in mind.
Kink: The best kink scenes don’t just happen. They are meticulously negotiated, discussed, planned and executed as a partnership between D-type and s-type. Both sides put work into the finished product, the D-type by determining what the s-type REALLY needs and wants versus what they claim they need and want, the s-type by putting their higher faculties in neutral to the necessary extent to allow the D-type to take them where they will. Ultimately, if this is done correctly, both parties achieve mental, emotional and/or sexual release, gratification and a deep satisfaction from the results of the work they have shared together.
Creativity: The artist plans, designs and completes the work with the intent that the ideal reader will bestow upon them their approval. For the artist, this comes in the form of strong emotional statements and responses, laughter and tears, reviews and recommendations to their social circles. For the reader, this comes in the form of feeling like this artist is speaking to and created the work for the reader and the reader alone. For both sides, the demonstration of approval deepens the connection between them, inspiring them to do more work with more passion.
Kink: Both sides negotiate, discuss and consent to what is and is not acceptable within the dynamic (i.e. relationship) or the scene with the intent that both sides will each receive approval from the other. For the D-type, this approval may be expressed with words, gestures or touch. The s-type’s response to the D-type’s actions, words and advances determines whether their approval is given. For both sides, in stripping themselves mentally and emotionally bare even if not physically, the approval each gives and receives to the other reinforces their connection and inspires each to dedicate more effort and passion to their partner and the dynamic.
Note: Nakedness and nudity are NOT the same! Although these terms are used interchangeably, there is a crucial distinction between them which must be made for this assertion to be properly contextualized. Nudity is the simple state of not wearing clothing, otherwise known as being “undraped” or “disrobed.” Nakedness implies vulnerability of the mind, heart, soul or body. It is possible for a live drawing model to be nude but not naked, or for a person to be fully clothed and utterly naked.
Creativity: In the creative world, the artist must without exception be the first one to “strip,” putting their deepest thoughts, fears, desires, cravings and hatreds out in the world for all to see. In this respect, the artist has rendered themselves naked mentally and emotionally. Once this is done, in the form of the completed work, the artist must now entice the reader to wish to join them in this naked state, seducing the reader further an inch at a time until the reader’s responses echo the writer’s intentions, leaving the reader emotionally and mentally stripped to the writer’s creation. If this doesn’t happen and the reader is not seduced, the “relationship” will inevitably come to an abrupt and unsatisfactory end.
Kink: In my experience, the best scenes occur when all parties concerned come into the liminal space of the scene naked. One party may be nude and another may be fully clothed, but both are revealing a series of naked and complementary desires which only the other people in the scene can properly fulfill. If one party is naked and the other is not, the imbalance of vulnerability can result in miscommunication, a scene which goes badly awry or even causes real harm to any or all the participants.
Creativity: The writer’s goal is to seduce the reader, implanting ideas and emotions into the reader’s mind through the medium of the work. A good piece of writing will entertain and inform the reader, but may not produce anything deeper. A great piece of writing, by contrast, will change the reader in some way, creating literally a new person out of the union of the writer’s craft and the reader’s mind and openness, a “mindbaby,” if you will.
Kink: Ideally, in my personal opinion, the best kink is intersectional between the mind, heart and body. There is an old saying that if you seduce a woman’s mind, she will naturally give you her body. While this is a dangerous generalization to make at the best of times, there is still an element of truth to it. The Dominant should be able to “impregnate” the submissive’s mind long before the body ever comes into the equation, and the best way to do this is by getting inside the s-type’s head through a properly executed mindfuck.
Creativity: Without the reader, the writer is unnecessary. Without the writer, the reader has no new worlds to conquer, as it were. Both the artist and the viewer need one another, the artist to create, the viewer to appreciate the creation. Both sides are offering gifts, and ideally there is a symbiotic exchange of value which will bring the two together again and again with each new creation. This may be expressed in the reader buying more of the writer’s work, recommending the writer to friends or writing a review. In turn, this will inspire and encourage the writer to continue producing work for the reader to consume, to the mutual benefit of both.
Kink: D-types and s-types are useless without their opposite numbers. Dominance without submission is nothing but empty posturing; submission without Dominance to shape and define it is pointless servitude. Both are gifts, and should both be equally esteemed in the minds of all the participants. When one side does not feel they are receiving benefits equal to the demands of the dynamic, or when one side attempts to place their own contribution higher than the other, the resulting imbalance can rip the dynamic apart or devolve the relationship into abuse. This is the antithesis of everything a healthy kink dynamic can and should be!
Obviously, these are my own thoughts and opinions, but I feel I’ve demonstrated to reasonably good effect where the intersection of creativity and kink lies, as well as their various points of congruity. I’m quite curious to hear what you, gentle reader, think and feel about these observations or any rebuttals or additions you would care to make. Just leave a comment and sound off!
For now, let me finish this off by saying that, in my opinion:
The act of creation may be the kinkiest thing many people ever attempt.
*Not my kink. Just an example.